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Paul T

The Humor Therapy Thread

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Ha, did you play with a Goalie in the 2nd?  ;-)

 

He was out there... turns out he didn't have his pads on and didn't realize it until he took a biscuit off the kneecap.  


*BISCUIT - SEASON 16 - TARNISHED SILVER BISCUIT PLATE CHAMPION*

 

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The hidden danger behind taking a faceoff...one wouldn't think that there would be one, right? Well my 1st line Center would tell you otherwise. Thirty seconds into todays clash with the Wizard's Steers, Docker goes to take a faceoff in the Defensive zone...moments later he is drooling face first on the ice. Instantaneously the team physician yells to the coach, "Yeah, that dude's toast - he's out for at least 23 games with a molly-whop concussion!" There are some conspiracy theories floating out there that the Steers rigged up a man posted in the jumbotron with a bean bag shotgun. The guy must have been a pro to nail Docker right in the back of the head. Video evidence is coming up inconclusive.

 

The injury is a huge blow to the team who seemed to just be finding their footing in the GHL. Now it seems we may be fighting to stay alive once more.

 

Docker's post game conversation:

 

"Docker, what happened out there in that faceoff and how did it feel to have an industrial-size hair dryer blow in your face after your drool froze it to the ice?"

 

"Well I like kittens and big puppies. You see the dragons eat too much of my celery fields to create any bitcoin profit so I think I may decide to take a taxi to Mongolia for the summer, catch some rays and then puke my brains out while wearing a nice pair of lederhosen!"

 

"Did the doctor check you out man?"

 

" Did you hear my answer, @$*#%?! Yes I like pink bunnies wrapped in great grandma's favorite shaw made of uncle Richard's responsibly sourced cat wool! #%*$ you people are stupid!"


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dangles   bhl  from the message box:

Stefan Mc-Elligott will be out for 38 (r u kidding me!!!) days with a lowerbody injury.   WAIT FOR IT!!!

I checked the line up. HE'S STILL THERE...I checked the roster not yet showing as injuried.  I know dangles is weird but this is redikalus.   I'll check back tomorrow for the update.  (4 games).    


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Regular season in Howitzer ended and my place is 3rd (again). Last round team in second place lost his game and I had change to pass that team but my team melt against 12th team :D. Luckily my team is promoted by playoffs every second season and it's time to do the magic again.

 

 

3rd.png


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While preparing for the Silly Season in Biscuit, I was reviewing my Short List and came across a player that Elite management and fans still spit after saying his name! 

 

Nearing the end of Season 11 with 15 games to go, management took a wild swing trying to reach the playoffs and traded a 2nd Round Pick, a 3/4th liner, and a prospect for a 34 year old veteran that previously had a productive history on the team.  He plays 9 games in an average role, gets hurt for the remainder of the season, signs a 1-year contract renewal, then promptly retires. 

 

Not only did we give up a 2nd rounder for 9 games, we also missed the playoffs!  


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This one is great:

PP.jpg

 

But it is actually correct since it was major, 5min, penalty. And it improved my PP significantly (moved to 1st place in PP in the league), but I'm not that is the right way how to calculate it (how is it in NHL with multiple goals in one major penalty?).


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This one is great:

PP.jpg

 

But it is actually correct since it was major, 5min, penalty. And it improved my PP significantly (moved to 1st place in PP in the league), but I'm not that is the right way how to calculate it (how is it in NHL with multiple goals in one major penalty?).

 

Ha!  I don't think my team has ever scored 3 PP goals in a game let alone on 1 major.

 

In the NHL when a goal is scored on a major penalty it counts as a new advantage.  So if you score 1 goal it's 1/2... 2 goals is 2/3 and so on.  The team is always credited with 1 more advantage than goals they scored.


*BISCUIT - SEASON 16 - TARNISHED SILVER BISCUIT PLATE CHAMPION*

 

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My starter goalie has been pulled three times in the first period in his past 5 starts. 10,62 GAA and 72,56 SV% in that span.


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My starter goalie has been pulled three times in the first period in his past 5 starts. 10,62 GAA and 72,56 SV% in that span.

 

When is our next game!?!?!?


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When is our next game!?!?!?

Unfortunately that is still 14 days away.

 

What's funny is that my starter has been pulled so consistently that my backup is now tired, and my alleged nr.1 goalie has full fitness.


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Unfortunately that is still 14 days away.

 

What's funny is that my starter has been pulled so consistently that my backup is now tired, and my alleged nr.1 goalie has full fitness.

 

And here I was starting to get frustrated when my backup can't finish a game and my starter can't get rest :D


 

 

 

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I have a dream... that my 92 OVR goalie could play a full 60 minutes. Almost made it through second period last night.

 

Try changing "Team Focus" or get better defensive players? 


 

 

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Try changing "Team Focus" or get better defensive players? 

Team focus has been normal, or offensive when trailing. My defenders have an average defense rating of 94,7 and my forwards' average is 86,3. As well as having great physical and spirit ratings, so I really don't think I can blame it on defense.

Send help 2.png


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Hey Erzac, have tried to play a bit with tactics? I think the goalie is fine - skill-wise he is great, traits are worse, but not THAT bad to perform like this. For example aggressive forecheck as a defense tactic is difficult one for speed and size and your defenders are not that fast skaters or huge bodies. At least not in current GHL level measures. I also have some doubts about mixing offensive or TwoWay D's with StayAtHome types in GPHM. While this is good practice in real NHL (Karlsson and Method for example), I'm not sure the game engine here is built that way - at least the defensive pairs tactics does not look to favor such combinations. 


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I know we are stemming away from the thread here a bit but I have some mixed feelings about running an offensive and two-way defensive pairing (or mixed in general). I have tried both and found success with both. What perplexes me the most is what's happening in Clapper right now. It seems the higher you get in a world the more challenging it gets to pull off offensive feats, especially in defensive pairings. Haradrim and his Topcats have had some amazing seasons of late and is currently in the #1 spot in the GHL. He's running mixed lines and finding extreme success while doing it but I have the hardest time getting even my top guys to be productive and simultaneously defensive. There's a lot that goes into those parings...have a lot to work on in Biscuit for sure!


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Hey Erzac, have tried to play a bit with tactics? I think the goalie is fine - skill-wise he is great, traits are worse, but not THAT bad to perform like this. For example aggressive forecheck as a defense tactic is difficult one for speed and size and your defenders are not that fast skaters or huge bodies. At least not in current GHL level measures. I also have some doubts about mixing offensive or TwoWay D's with StayAtHome types in GPHM. While this is good practice in real NHL (Karlsson and Method for example), I'm not sure the game engine here is built that way - at least the defensive pairs tactics does not look to favor such combinations. 

I'm quite reluctant when it comes to changing tactics mid-season as I think familiarity is a more important factor short-term than having the right tactic. And I'd like to avoid another SHL trip. As for the defender roles I've just been following the assistant feedback, which has always been positive on that (most of the time "looked like a perfect fit").

 

In other news, Bockstael actually played a whole 60 minutes last night, with 'only' three goals against. Still a loss, but at least my backup got some rest...


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